That effectively concluded the conversation, but it was not the end for me. I could not remember the Bene Gessrit word for their “messiah”. I knew the word meant, “One who could be many places”, but for the life of me I could not make out its translation. It felt shameful. I have read Dune countless of times, but that one word evaded me.
The word Muad’dib kept creeping to my mind. I had to tell myself over and over that it’s not the one. Muad’dib meant desert mouse.
Then I challenged myself to remember that word without searching the Internet or scanning the glossary of terms in Dune. The hint of the word kept creeping up for the next few days but I still could not recall it in full. A few days later, while staring at the cover of Dune a thought began to take shape in my mind. A few seconds later, I remembered the term Lisan al’gaib.
It sounded right, but it felt a bit wrong. I quickly looked at the book glossary and realized my mistake. Lisan al’gaib meant “The Voice from Another World”. It was a Dune term for their messiah, but it was not the Bene Gessrit term. It was a Fremen term.
I kept staring at my Dune collection. I felt the inner workings of my mind reorient itself. It was as if a fog was about to be lifted to reveal a secret. I could make out some details of the word but it was not yet enough. Then I voiced out words that sounded like the Dune messiah.
Hararazak?
Kwaszarark?
Then something clicked in my mind. It felt as if the clouds were finally lifted. The term was finally revealed. It was as clear to me as if I had always known it.
Kwisatz Haderach.
Those were two words. No wonder I had a hard time trying to recall it. I was stuck with trying to find one word, when what I was actually looking for was two words.
Nevertheless, the experience made me realize something. It was not that I finally remembered Kwisatz Haderach. It was the strange but welcome feeling in my mind when it seemed that puzzle pieces seeming to reorient themselves to form one giant picture.
Has my mentat potential finally awakened?!

*Yeah. I’m one big fan of hers.

This is a SPOILER FILLED review. Don’t read if you are offended by spoilers like me.

I just finished Robert Jordan’s and Brandon Sanderson’s The Gathering Storm, and I have one word for it: AWESOME!
Although it can be rightly said that Bran is not RJ, he still delivered a novel fit to be numbered in the epic saga that is the Wheel of Time. RJ will always be THE author of the Wheel of Time. Bran, however, has proven that he is worthy to deliver the voice of RJ to us hopeful fans.
I loved every word of Book 12 of the Wheel of Time. It is one of the few books that have accompanied me till the first signs of sunrise. As I read the book, there were times when I had to force myself away from it knowing that a sleepless night would mean that I would have a hard time comprehending it by day. And now that I got that off my chest. It’s time for the gritty part of my review.
I found one chapter that was really off from the rest of the book. Towards the middle part of the book, Mat and company found a strange village. After following the prompting of the phantom dice in his head, they discover its secret. It turns out that the Pattern snaps in the village every sunset. All hell breaks loose as Mat and company stave off violent mobs of otherwise ordinary townspeople suddenly turned into agile zombies, or what passes off as zombies in Randland.
It was a shameless filler chapter. Other than that, I still think Mat is cool. If only he could drive sense into that bald head of that Seanchean Nine Moons: Tuon.
I was disappointed with the Semirrhage arc. After weeks of grueling her into breaking short of physical torture, Branjordan kills her off! Alright, she did have her moment of glory as she snapped the male a’dam (domination band) on Rand. Even though it was literally a gripping scene, I was left frustrated after that chapter. It’s not because Rand becomes super emo after, it’s just that I wanted to know more about her history and the workings of her mind.
Despite that shocking encounter, there was, however, one redeeming factor for me immediately after that scene. Rand kicking Cadsuane out of his entourage just got me. Don’t get me wrong. I love Cadsuane, but her utter dislike of men just galls me. She needed to learn a lesson. Fortunately, she got that from the father and son duo of Tam and Rand. Get that, old hag!
Then there’s Rand. His pseudo emo style was gnawing at me. He was acting like a teenager recently spurned by his love. He keeps saying, “I must be strong.”
“I must not feel, because I would only get hurt or hurt others if I do.”
“I must be harder than steel. I must be cuendillar.”
He even changes his voice into monotone to fit his new outlook in life. He was too full of himself and his acting that I desperately wanted to shout at him, “For the love of the Light, CUT IT OUT ALREADY!” He did that with a hearty laugh at the end of the book, but not before he breaks his vow against hurting any woman even if she may be the most violent, sadistic, and perverted Darkfriend of all. Oops, there were two women.
Yet Egwene bags the prize on this book. I must admit that I used to hate her. She was the fifth wheel of every group that she belonged to in the book. Her character used to be ordinary and plain. That all changed when she was taken in by the Aiel. I started to liker her then, but grew to love her when she was raised Amyrlin by the rebels.
Light! She was awesome. Breaking no laws but being punished nonetheless; never complaining; never surrendering; changing hearts, minds, and opinions; she was a beacon of hope in the Tower.
Then when the Seanchan raid came my emotions were so mixed that I just couldn’t understand what I was feeling. Egene was vindicated. She rallied the novices, teaching them to Link so that she could hold as much of the Power beyond her forkroot altered system could handle. Then she retrieved a sa’angreal which made her unstoppable, godlike, and impossible. Damane had their a’dams suddenly fall off. Sul’dam burned to ashes as they stood in shock. Raken and to’raken fell from the skies, and she was responsible for all of this.
It came to a point that I wanted to stop because the scenes held too much in them. I wanted to savor every moment of Egwene’s vindication. Yet I could not stop from what was unfolding before me. My emotions were so mixed that I got confused as to what I should be feeling. Should I be angry at the Seanchan, the White tower, or at Elaida? Should I be happy at the vindication of Egwene, at her
competence, or at her power? Should I feel sad about the fate of the captured channelers?
Then I noticed something strange around my eyes. I touched them. My fingers felt a sheen of moisture. Was I really crying? I suddenly laughed at the absurdity of it. I was laughing and crying and being confused all at the same time.
Now there were a lot of other scenes that have struck me in the book, but those were the scenes that I remembered the most. The Gathering Storm was worth the wait of the interim after Knife of Dreams. Though I still mourn the passing of Robert Jordan, I am, however, thankful that Brandon Sanderson has made RJ’s vision alive.
Thank you RJ for creating the world of the Wheel of Time.
Thank you Bran for letting us continue to live in it even though its creator has gone.

In a universe where death has been abolished, and all types of pleasure are available for the asking; what else should humanity do?

PS On another note, I am also glad that Facebook deactivated my account. At the least, I now have time to pursue more productive pursuits like blogging…

*Blame it on Confessor

Notice the resemblance?
Look closer.
If you strain hard enough, you’d swear they’re twins. NOT!!

In an ambitious bid to increase its ratings, television network ABS-CBN has recently launched another high budget teleserye: Kambal sa Uma. Featuring rat-human mutants, Kambal sa Uma is an adaptation of a 1979 movie of the same title. One word of advice: Avoid it like the bubonic plague.

You don’t believe me?

Do you know the show is based on a stupid premise? A pregnant woman, who somehow got insanely interested in rats, gives birth to rat-human mutants. Wow. They expect us to believe that unhealthy obsession with rats can actually make rat genes combine with human genes.*

Still having faith in folk stories?

That’s good. You can follow their advise and stop bathing on Good Fridays, Saturdays, Mondays, and on all days that fall on the calendar. Who knows, you might smell like your rat-human-mutant-idol soon.

Surely you’re not impressed with the acting?

The extras are horrible! They react too quickly. For example, some extras removed one of the rat-human-mutant’s clothes, thereby exposing her furry back. They showed disgust**, even before the dreaded exposure.

And did I mention the show was stupid?

Yes it is, but not as stupid as the logic of the show. I don’t think Filipinos would dare kill deformed children, even if they look like abominations of the human-rat-hybrid kind. Experience dictates that Filipinos are more enterprising. The show should have featured the kidnap of one of the rat-human-mutants and sold her to a freak show!

Do you know that stupidity is contagious, especially if seen on TV?

You don’t?!! Then I pity you. The show must have taken hold of your intellect. Btw, I saw a mild case of Kambal sa Uma-induced stupidity today. He’s not yet at your level but he was getting there. He just came to the Health Center where I was doing my immersion when he suddenly said:
Hala! Buhi lagi na siya?!
WHAT! She’s alive?!
Apparently, what he last saw was one of the young rat-human-mutants being thrown to sea to drown. (Did I mention that those extras should have earned money had they sold the mutant at a freak show instead of murdering her?) As a sign of respect to the old man, I kept silent but my head was going:
WHAT!? HAS THE SHOW POSSESSED YOU THIS EARLY? THAT SHOW IS ONLY 1 WEEK OLD. YOU HAVE SEEN SCREEN SHOTS OF THE MUTANT GROWN UP, RIGHT? WHY WERE YOU SHOCKED TO SEE HER ALIVE?!

Btw, perhaps I’ve made a hasty diagnosis of your mental capacity. You may have some hope left. Surely, the show mustn’t have possessed you too quickly. Let me test your IQ with one question. If you can’t answer this, then you’re hopeless. Keep watching the show. It’s already owned you…

Q: What does Uma in Kambal sa Uma mean?

WHAT?! YOU’VE BEEN WATCHING THE SHOW FOR A WEEK, AND YOU STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT ITS TITLE EVEN MEANS? THEN THAT JUST PROVES ME RIGHT. STUPID. JUST STUPID. KAMBAL SA UMA IS STUPID.

*I don’t care if it’s Filipino folklore. It’s still stupid.
**Oops, I think disgust is too heavy a word to describe what they were trying to portray. It does, however, describe the way I felt about their acting.

I just had my first serving of dragon fruit.
It used to be called pitaya, but its marketers thought that sounded crude so they settled on calling it dragon fruit. They hoped it would turn an otherwise simple desert fruit into something exotic. IMO, it does have some resemblance to dragon scale, but all affinity to the mythical beasts end there.
The fruit is neither fiery hot, nor is it icy cold; powers fantasy tales attribute to dragons. In fact, its taste seems like a contradiction. I have to admit that I have never tasted anything like it before, but despite its originality the experience was forgettable. I cannot recall what it tastes like, and that is a bad thing for something that is priced so expensively.

So if you’re ever in the mood to try something “exotic” and somehow decided to try dragon fruit, don’t blame me for not warning you about it…

E-load – Ordinary load. How I wish SMART did not add those other promos.

All Text – A majority of my customers ask me for AllTxt 20. There are a host of other promos under this category, but they are mostly ignored.

TNT Gaantxt – I only have 1 customer who regularly asks for this, and he does it only once every 2 weeks! There are 2 other infrequent customers who ask for this, but IMO, this promo should be scrapped. It’s not very cost-effective.

All Calls – I don’t remember having loaded a single customer for this one. I wonder how many SMART subscribers have used or even heard about this promo.

Upsize – I only get requests for Upsize 35. The others have all been ignored.

The sheer number of those promos, most of them useless, ultimately makes SMART simply amazing (sarcasm).