The miracle fruit otherwise known as Synspalum dulcificum was first used by tribes in West Africa. They ate the berries before they took their meals; which consisted of yams, sorghum, among other nasty stuff. Although documented by explorers such as Chevalier des Marchais among other individuals, it was unnoticed by everyone else until the Internet spread the news*.
After having obtained a berry through some bold means**, I solemnly held the fruit as I prepared to eat it. It was small and looked like a coffee berry. Then I ate it, making sure that the pulp made contact with as much of my tongue as possible. It tasted like a thin slice of Dragon fruit, unremarkable and forgettable. I wondered if the taste was because it was naturally bland or if it was due to its supposed miracle. Yet whatever questions regarding its effects flew from my mind as I soon experienced the miracle.

I quickly sliced a calamansi fruit and apprehensively prepared to squeeze the juice directly into my mouth. Filipinos know that such an act was an exercise in producing the characteristic sour face. Yet as the juice touched my tongue, I had an epiphany. My eyes brightened into what I thought was an impossible diameter as I mentioned the obvious. “Sweet,” I said.

Raw calamansi tasted like prepared calamansi juice with the usual several spoonfuls of sugar. A slight hint of sourness remained, but the taste was still distinctly calamansi. Soon onions, vinegar, dressings, tomato sauce, and some other stuff quickly had their turn with my mouth. All of them tasted sweeter, but some of them turned unpalatable as a result.
The thrill of altered sensation, however, lasted only a few minutes for me. I knew how the miracle worked its wonders***. I even experienced its miracle. Yet I could not help but feel maimed by the experience. It felt as if something was taken from me, as if I was bound and physically prevented from the potential of full experience.
After its effect wore off a few minutes later, I eagerly welcomed the return of the taste of Sour.

*If this is your first time to read about the miracle fruit, please don’t forget to thank the Internet for this information.
**Don’t ask. Let’s just say my parents would have received it then, but they were not around.
***The active ingredient miraculin alters the taste buds specializing with the taste of sourness.

I just had my first serving of dragon fruit.
It used to be called pitaya, but its marketers thought that sounded crude so they settled on calling it dragon fruit. They hoped it would turn an otherwise simple desert fruit into something exotic. IMO, it does have some resemblance to dragon scale, but all affinity to the mythical beasts end there.
The fruit is neither fiery hot, nor is it icy cold; powers fantasy tales attribute to dragons. In fact, its taste seems like a contradiction. I have to admit that I have never tasted anything like it before, but despite its originality the experience was forgettable. I cannot recall what it tastes like, and that is a bad thing for something that is priced so expensively.

So if you’re ever in the mood to try something “exotic” and somehow decided to try dragon fruit, don’t blame me for not warning you about it…

This a lechon. We ate one such as this yesterday. Lechon is delicious if prepared in the right way. I’ve eaten lechon prepared in Luzon, and I almost barfed fro it! It lacked spices, and its meat felt funny and slimy as it slid down my throat. To be on the safe side: EAT ONLY CEBU OR ILIGAN PREPARED LECHON!

This is lechon paksiw, or simply paksiw for Cebuanos. Tagalogs call a host of other dishes paksiw. I don’t know why. Paksiw is prepared from leftover lechon. Cooking lechon with vinegar and some spices preserve the meat before it turns stale.

This is grilled fish. ‘Nuff said. One type of fish here is a tuna. I don’t know what the other one is.

This is kinilaw. It is prepared from raw fish mixed with vinegar, lemon, a strange fruit whose name I do not know of and is otherwise inedible, along with spices. It is very popular in the Southern regions. Tagalogs also have something similar to this. They call it kilawin. I don’t know the ingredients of the this variety, but since I haven’t seen it around in their restaurants, I’m guessing that even Tagalogs are not fond of it.

This is caldereta. It is prepared from goat meat, tomato sauce, spices, carrots, and potatoes. Btw, the neighbor’s goat was killed for this food to be prepared. She was a regular feature in our neighborhood. Our neighbor cried before she was slaughtered. At first, I was a little hesitant to eat her. I eventually did, and in fairness she actually tasted good!

This is rice. The Philippines is under a rice shortage crisis. Experts predict that its price is going to increase soon. This is partly brought about by an increasing demand from Westerners, and this is my message for them. STOP EATING OUR RICE! STICK TO YOUR BREAD AND POTATOES. LEAVE RICE TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN EATING IT FOR CENTURIES!