preMEDitated

While I was waiting for my phones to be loaded, a friend’s son sat beside me. He was only about 3 or 4 years old, but he was already knowledgeable with current local nighttime TV shows. He described scenes from Luna Mystica and Gagambino. He pointed to a poster and correctly said the name of the model: Dingdong Dantes. I asked him what show he was featured in. He said Marimar.
Tigtanaw ka ana na mga salida, I condescendingly asked.
You watch those shows?
O, he said enthusiastically.
Yes.
Unfortunately, kids his age could not pick up sarcasm yet. Whereas older people would justify themselves saying there were no other available shows, he got more excited about the story. Not wanting to hear anymore about Tagalog shows, I steered the conversation away.
Tigtanaw kag cartoons, I asked.
Do you watch cartoons?
Unsa na?, he answered.
What’s that?
I was about to say its equivalent Cebuano word, but he had another question.
Unsa na, he asked as he pointed his finger on my nose.
Silently thinking of ways to steer the conversation away from my giant zit on the side of my nose, I asked him to clarify his question.
He repeated the same question, but this time he pointed to the side of his nose. Then he asked, Nganong naa man kay inana?
Why do you have that?
Now I used to have dozens of pimples, but they’ve cleared up. A few recalcitrant ones pop out every now and then. This zit the kid was curious about was particularly large. I couldn’t control myself. I had it popped. It had slightly scabbed over but was otherwise still inflamed, during our conversation.
Knowing that a lecture about comedone types, inflammation reactions, and facial hygiene would be lost on him. I answered him with a simple word.
Germs.
Unsa na?
What’s that?
I told him the Cebuano equivalent.
Kagaw.
Unsa na, he asked again.
So I used the loosest translation I could think of.
Hugaw.
Dirt.
Then I studied his face carefully. He had smooth, fair skin, with very fine pores; the type that would retain its quality without the use of dermatologist-prescribed-medication. He would be growing up without any pimple problems. Hence, I could not scare him with promises that he’ll soon get a lot of pimples.
Fortunately, his mother returned and saved me from my predicament.
Kids just say the darndest things.